Teffy's Picture Guide to cutting your hair!

There comes a time, when you must trim your hair.  In my case, it was weeks after getting a "faux hawk" My hair was already unruly and long, and the man who cut my hair simply cut the back and sides, leaving nothing touched on top.  I knew this day would come, so I figured I would lay out a step by step guide (with pictures) on how to cut your hair.

Step 1:  Recognize that your hair has gotten out of control.

 

Step 2: Wet hair and brush it out to gauge seriousness of problem.

 

(This face means that it is a serious problem.  If you make this face, continue to step three)

Step 3: Cry, and continue to step 4.  (No picture available...Teffy's don't cry)

Step 4: Dry your hair and be amazed at the physics defying stunts it can pull, that you can never pull off with gel.

Step 4a:  Have a momentary realization that it resembles A Flock of Seagulls hair-do.

 

Step 5: Thoroughly brush your hair out with a comb, to remove all tangles and to make easier to cut.

 

Step 5a:  Come to sudden unsettling realization, you resemble Crispin Glover.

Step 6: Say goodbye to your old hair.

Step 7:  Befriend a pair of scissors.

(we don't trust each other, he knows I'll rust him at the first chance...I know he'll stab me when I'm not looking...but we must get the job done.)

Step 8: Cut hair with wild abandon.

Step 9: Survey mess you have made.

(This also was only 1/4 of the way through, the end result was just too terrifying to post online)

During the cutting of hair, and before the surveying of destruction, it is widely known that you will lose your shirt.  Some Shamans credit this to the wild nature and spiritualistic sacrifice in cutting your own hair.  From my observations, this came as a direct result of hair going down my shirt and that shit itches...

Step 10: Survey new hair-scape for any faults

 

Step 11: Wash hair with shampoo.

(It should be noted that Teffy does not endorse the eating of shampoo, but this crap smells so good, it almost happened....well...it actually may have, but the picture doesn't show that now, does it?  DOES IT???)

Step 11a.  Realize you've used too much shampoo.

 

(This will happen...every...single...time...)

Congratulations!  With these few, very simple, easy to follow steps, you will be cutting your hair in no time!

Teffy approved!