How Jodie Foster saved the Internet

I know I've been away for some time and I do apologize for that, but I also will take the beginning of this entry to set in a little bit of a link for the site that I DO WRITE ON!  WELCOME, PROSEBOX!

And yeah, let's not lie here, there's a bit of an incentive here for me to do that.  The site is fairly new and because of that, it doesn't have very much 'new' traffic to it.  So I'm helping by sending a link back to it so more people can find my little corner and check it out :).

It has grown a lot in the last year, I'll tell you that.  I was the 30th person to join that site, so it's like a baby to me.  Granted, I did not put in any hard work I just arm back quarter-backed "Yeah that looks nice, oh god no put the couch by the lamp..."  it really has grown.

(I am also the unofficial Sheriff on the site. *ahem* I am still waiting for my badge...)

The site right now seems to be serving a very good purpose as it took on a lot of refuges from the now defunct site Open Diary.  While most would probably never utter Open Diary's name again (there seems to be a lot of hurt there), I believe if someone is searching for news of what happened to the site trying to still find it, then maybe this will crop up in their Google search.  I also was a member of Open Diary for over 10 years, and that is why I flung over to Prosebox, it was a safety net at first.

So A LOT of the content on that site is day to day blogging but you know whhhaaaaaaaaatt?  There's a growing community of writers on there and that is what I adore.

There is Flash Friday where you pick a set of prompts and write a story off the top of your head incorporating the prompts.  I've seen people do Music Mondays, and other manner of themed things.  I keep my doodle blog over there, I keep a music blog over there, and after I post this blog post, it will also be put over on Prosebox as well...or PB for short.

PB&J!!  Won't you come be our Jam!

(I'll be deducted points for lameness!)

So if you are looking for a writing community to piddle around in, whether you're into Creative Writing, Day-to-Day blogging, personal blogging, private blogging...HELL if you just want to add a photo blog, or a review blog, or keep up with your craft projects....OR ALL OF THOSE THINGS because you create separate books for one account!!  Then please check out the Prosebox!  I'll be over there as well. 

Feel free to hit me up if you get over there and I'll help you get settled in!

NOW FOR THIS ENTRY!!

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Many years ago, I set up an account with AT&T through U-verse.  Now, while many people read that one line and roll their eyes, I have to explain here that my only options for internet service where I live prior to that point was through the local cable company.  It was slightly faster than dial up and was 80 dollars a month and the modem went out like clock work every 30 minutes for 10 minutes at a time.

So U-verse was a god send when it finally came to my area.

And, guess what?  Even after this experience, I really do not have any complaints at all other than the one person that set this entire thing in motion.

But what happened was that all these many moons ago, I received my own kit to set up my internet.  Nobody else on my street had AT&T so they sent a crew a few days later to install a post and run a DSL line to my house.

Inside this kit was the modem, the box and everything else.  I could ask for the tech to install it, or if you're intelligent enough to read the instructions and plug the modem into the wall and wait for it to set up, you save yourself $100 and just start going.  Part of the install process was going to the webpage and setting up an account, complete with security questions and everything else.

So I set up a PIN, and password, and security questions, my email, blahblahblah and then ZOOM I was on my way.

Did I care? NOPE I had internet!  BLAZING internet (from what I was used to) and I'd never have ANY issues EVER again!

 admit it you heard it in the voice and you LOVED it...

 Last week, I was leaving my house in my car (like you do) when an AT&T truck topped the hill and passed me.  I went on my merry way for about 200 yards when my brain said to me "WHOA, hold the phone.(get it? phone? AT&T...never mind).  I'm the only person on this street with service to my knowledge, wtf is going on here..."

So I turned around and went back and drove slowly past the dude who had my post open and was pulling wires out of it.  Huh, I thought to myself, he probably is repairing something.  Because to be honest, the speed had gotten a bit spotty lately and they had had tractors out mowing ditches the week before...who knows, these are country problems, they probably bumped the post and he was there to fix it.

It wasn't until I got on the next road again, that my curiosity overtook me, so I went back again and stopped at the end of the road and walked up the hill to this tech still pulling wires out.  

Granted, I could have picked a better tone to start the conversation with, but I was a bit irritated that there was a chance that this whack-a-doodle was messing up my stuff.

So my "Hey, buddy, what'cha doin?"  came out "HEY!!  You messing with my POST?!" and the guy looked at me with that look most people (including myself) get when dealing with people, which was "oh shit, an idiot" as he replied "Uh, yeah, that's kind of my job?"  so I said to him "Are you cutting my shit off?"  and he replied "Am I?"

I had a moment of doubt.  Was my bill late??  I couldn't remember.  I don't know how many people subscribe to the Myers-Briggs personality types, but I am an INTP type.  This means I live in my head...a lot.  And while for a person this is not the worst thing in the world, as a human being it causes forms of cataclysmic issues when it comes to 'real world' things to do, such as paying bills.

I completely forget about them.  I have the money, it's not gonna kill me to pay them, but since I quite literally have no clue what day it is 99% of the time...only that it's day time or night time, I forget to pay them.  I  forget to shut doors, cabinets, dish washers, I just forget.  I'm so in my head that the world outside seems to not exist until the lights are suddenly off and I go "oh crap, did I not pay that??"

It's gotten A LOT better now.  I've taken charge and try to write reminders for myself so that it doesn't happen, but every now and then I still forget.  And one of the worst things you can ask me is "Are you sure?" because I immediately doubt what I've just done.  So the guy asking me WAS he there to cut off my service threw me for a loop...I don't recall it being late, in fact I don't think it's even DUE.  I mean I remember paying it recently...or was that two months ago?

So I decided to ask rhetorically, "if you are cutting it off, what if I'm going right now to pay my bill" (which was actually TRUE!  I wouldn't have run into the dude if I hadn't been leaving to actually PAY that bill).  He gave me that look of "right..." and said "Well if I'm cutting it off and you go pay it, then I'll be back to turn it on."

Tech dudes have no sense of rhetoric.

It was also 5PM.  So my brain went "This dude isn't coming back!"

This then caused the biggest domino effect ever that just had the universe screaming at me "YEAH your personality type just went full retard!"

I went to AT&T to pay my bill as originally planned, except now I was in a chaotic rush to get it paid JUST IN CASE this dude was turning off my service, he'd still be in the area and could go back.

So I GET THERE!  I bail from my car!  I JOG INTO THE AT&T STORE!!!  I grabbed a handful of complimentary exclamation marks they provide so you can abuse the staff!!  BUT I WOULD USE THEM LATER ON THE INTERNET TO INVOKE A SENSE OF ACTION!

Bill's Paid

 One thing I did note at the AT&T store was that my bill wasn't late.  IN FACT, it wasn't due until the 21st of August (it is the 17th of August at time of posting this and was the 11th of August at time of paying).  But still I paid it, because...why not?  I actually remembered to venture out into the world and pay a bill, might as well handle that shit!

Left and realized in my haste, I locked my keys in my car, which prompted my to call my sister for help, only to realize oh yeah, I also forgot to buy a minute card for my phone and it's not working.

That took 3 hours to sort out and get back home, where I triumphantly barreled into my house, only to notice the internet was still out.

"No worries" I lied to myself, "It was probably just too late, he'll come back tomorrow."

Thus I entered into an abusive relationship with AT&T.  When he didn't come home the second day, I tried calling only to discover that PIN number that I had created was needed to get through to ANYONE who had any sort of access to my account.

And guess what?  I CANT REMEMBER THAT SHIT NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED!  And you have to realize that after the 10th 4 digit PIN you give someone on the line and you start chuckling nervously and say "Shit well, I mean I can't remember what I set it up with...that was so long ago" it's gonna seem SUPER FUCKING SHADY and they're going to lock your account down harder than your butthole clenches when your boss tells you you've 'volunteered' for a 'special project'.

So back to the AT&T store I went.  I figured that I have a friggin driver's license, that's GOOD right?

Nooo they aren't allowed to access my account like that either.

So back to calling AT&T I did, and when I finally got someone, he informed me the system was down, but because my internet was not working, he'd give me the number to repair and they could make an appointment to come out.

I never got through to repair that day, apparently everyone else had googled that number and was trying to call them too.  The worst was when the tech told me through a crackled line, "If you'd like, you can visit us online at..." and gave me the website support address.

So I drove to my sister's house (Still no internet here) and connected to the website, there's a CHAT option!  YES!  Oh wait, I was asking about billing...nope.  No chat option.  So I tried repair and was connected with a VERY friendly woman-chat-bot (who knows?!) who asked me right off, what was my PIN?

I sent back the longest rambling of "I set up the account so long ago I can't remember but I think it could be this, this, this, this, or THIS!"  and got back "I'm sorry that's not correct."  and was disconnected.

...went home defeated.  Maybe he would show up the next day.

...he didn't...

I finally gave up and just called out of curiosity one afternoon, and instead of waiting it went STRAIGHT through to a friendly fellow who asked me my PIN and I sighed "I don't know it..."  He cheerfully responded "Well, no problem!  I see you set up a security question when you opened your account, would you like to answer it?"

 

He cheerfully responded "Who's your favorite Actor?"

I went completely blank.

Do you know HOW many actors I like?  I AM A THESPIAN, FOR GOD SAKE!  

I then KICKED myself mentally, why was I DUMB ENOUGH to pick that question of all questions?  It's like I set myself up to fail should I ever require assistance!

So I said "uh...god, listen...I set this up so long ago..."

"Take your time..."

"There's like a million actors..."

"That's okay"

"And what if I picked someone really obscure like Ray Park...oh god is it Ray Park??"

"Are you answering with Ray Park?"

"...y...yes?"

"I'm sorry that's incorrect."

"...oh man...MAN!!"

"are there any other actors that are your favorite?"

By that point, I could hear the amusement in his voice.  He was staring at the answer and trying not to chuckle, I could feel it.  He finally said "I would think if you set it up as your security question, it'd be an actor.......or actress, that you really really like no matter how famous or obscure."

And it all flooded back...

Since I was a wee little Teff, people have made fun of me for my love of Jodie Foster.  I ADORE her, I don't care what anyone says.  And I answered that guy with the sound of angels as I said breathlessly and excited "....is it Jodie Foster?????" and he replied with a chuckle, "May she forever remain your favorite actress because she just saved your account!"

And while I'd like to think that Jodie Foster is somewhere looking into a pool of water watching me type this from my computer and smiling and saying "Go on, my son, continue to internets all day"....a small part of me thinks she might be a vengeful god and wasn't the answer at all and Jodie Foster, Patron Saint of the internet, simply felt my pleading once I invoked her name.

"Turn his internet back on, or I will blow your head off." 

*slides back around wall into mail room*

In the end, a tech was sent and this is where it gets really weird.  One tech told me the tech I had outside, stole my equipment to set up a new line for a house on the corner.  He was mad about it, so I was inclined to believe him.  The next tech that showed up told me the original tech was cancelling someone's service and took the parts out of the post thinking it went to that house.  My only thing about that is this other house is at the other end of the road and up until now I was the only person with service...so I'm more inclined to believe the original tech who said the man took my equipment.

I originally was enraged.  I do have the tech on video doing this as I record when I drive and I passed by him as he was pulling the wires out.  I wanted his job on a platter.  I wanted to rip AT&T apart over it.

But you know what?  I don't.   I'm thankful that even though it was a nightmare to get into my account, they have it set up where some random jerk can't get in and switch my service at the drop of a hat because they say they are me.  HOWEVER, I would hope they eventually would let it be okay to walk into a brick and mortar store with your DL and change account options there as well.  The people on the phone were extremely friendly, the two techs that came out were very friendly and very professional (Minus the few minutes the first tech discovered my equipment missing, he was rightfully as angry as I was),  Once I finally got through to AT&T and they weren't having computer problems, I was off the phone in 20 minutes with a tech there the next day.

I wanted to filet the guy who took my stuff, but then wondered, I mean why were they sending him out with insufficient equipment?  This is a bigger problem than that tech taking my equipment, but then again, he took my equipment to set up someone's new service.  

I'll let this go for now, there's no reason for me to go on a witch hunt.  I have my internet back and both the other techs reported that tech already and gave me his name should I want to report it as well.

But none of it would have been possible without our Lady Foster *sniffle*  Praise be to Foster!  Keeper of the internet!

A not so helpful guide on how to make Upside-Down Pizza Casserole (WITH PICTURES)

Today I will teach you how to make Upside-Down Pizza Casserole.  WITH PICTURES!

I'm just now getting into the habit of trying to cook for myself and have realized I kept making the same 3 things (usually ramen, pizza, potatoes). 

Never really cared for cooking (although I will bake all day), so I've always been content with "eat, full, good."

Lately, I was wanting FOOD.  But realized I honestly don't know any recipes.  So what is the best course of action?

THE INTERNET!

Last week I made squash casserole for the first time, and LOVED IT!!!

Tonight I found this Recipe, and gave it a whirl.

First, you'll gather your stuff to go in this thing.

 In my case, I went with the very basic recipe I found online (although I did want to get olives and mushrooms to mix in, I decided to try it this way to see how it turned out first).

you got you a 2 cup size bag of mozerella

2lbs of lean beef

A can of biscuits

sauce.

Now, the original recipe called for a '10 oz size' can of biscuits but my Wal-Mart's grocery section got laid upon by human locusts today out of nowhere, so there was not much in the way of biscuits left.  So I just got a 12.5 oz can of Texas style biscuits (DO IT! THEY ARE DELICIOUS)

It also says only use 1 1/4 cup of the cheese, 1 1/2 lb of meat, and a 15 oz can of 'italian flavored' tomato sauce (mine is 24 oz can of whatever flavor Prego I wanted)...

Thing is, I'm not going to save half a lb of beef...so I cooked it with it, then just upped the rest to fit.

Step two is realizing you never finished washing your dishes, and you need both of those pans.

Step three:  Start drinking.

Step four:  Preheat that oven to 400 degrees, baby!

Step five: realize how nasty your stove is.

Step six:  drink a little bit more.

Step seven: clean stove top quickly.

Steph eight: realize you have a 1.5QT dish and a 3QT but not a 2 QT dish like you need.

 Start questioning why you wanted to start cooking for yourself again?

Step nine: MEAT!  We need to brown this animal muscles all up!!!

Step ten: drain that shiz

Step eleven: put that back into a warm pan for the next step which iiiiissss

Step twelve: dump your sauce in the pan on the meat.

Don't worry, we're just putting it in long enough to stir together.

See?

Now Step thirteen, dump into your dish.
Step fourteen: I found some left over Parmesean cheese from the squash casserole...DUMP THAT ON THERE!

Step fifteen:  Toss all that Mozerella on that and spread it out.

Step sixteen is just so horrible, you get a video...open the can of biscuits.. D:

After you regrain your strength, get over the ego bruising hit, and change your underwear, move on to step seventeen, which is take the biscuits out of the can and flatten them with your hands one by one, and lay them on top of the cheese.

TA DA!

Now toss that shit into the oven!

Instructions originally said cook for 15 minutes or until the biscuits are golden brown.

After 15 minutes, this is what I had.

After 25 minutes, ths is what I had. 

Let cool.

During this cooling time, a random woman will show up and start sniffing your biscuits because they "smell so good"

And how did it turn out?

AWWYIISSH SO FUCKIN DELICIOUS!!!

And now...you're a cat.

I did say I would start writing more in here on lesser of a comedy thing and more about my 'journey' as it is, so here is an edited cross post from another blog I keep.  I've only edited it really to remove the first half which didn't pertain to this, and take out some names.

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So often I hear the phrase "I understand what you are saying, but I don't actually UNDERSTAND what you mean."  When I explain the whole trans* thing to people.  "We get it, you are going to be a guy...but I still think of you as a girl because you're a girl, I just don't understand hating your body so much you'd change it and everything."

How do you go about explaining that?  

So how did I explain it?  How in the world would I try to explain to someone how I feel inside my body?

Well it's actually a pretty stupid example, but it works it seems.

I could sit here all day long and say "when I look at myself, I'm absolutely shocked at what I'm looking at.  I don't want boobs, I don't WANT this, it doesn't feel right, it feels just wrong."

I could continue on, saying that the thought of childbirth just absolutely horrifies me, the thought of wearing dresses makes me feel violated, and any other amount of response you'd normally hear from a trans person trying to explain their struggle.  The problem is, that isn't really helpful.  All we're doing with that is re-enforcing what you've already heard about trans people.

Which to me equates to:"WAAAAAAH! I HATE MYSELF! WAAAAAAH I JUST WANNA CHANGE! WAAAAAHH!!!!"

If you know me in real life, you'll learn that I'm the most politically incorrect person you will ever meet.  I hate people trying to spare other's feelings because something might be 'offensive'.  To me, if you can't take a joke, and if you're not secure enough with yourself to take the piss out of yourself and be good humored about it, then you need to just toughen up or go away.

Is that harsh?  Yes it is.  I lived through a life of mental and physical abuse (which I've written about in other places).  It's a HARD thing to get over, and I still struggle with, but the thing I found about humor is that people get INCREDIBLY sketchy once you go outside the cage of what is correct and not.

I make fun of myself all the time and call myself a 'tranny'.  Apparently this is absolutely and INCREDIBLY offensive.  I have been banned from communities over it being accused of being a troll and a self-loathing individual that needs to learn to respect myself, because if I did respect myself, I would NEVER use that word when referring to me.

My thoughts are, it's a damn word...get over it.

SO!  How would I put someone into my shoes using an example that is probably just ridiculously not even NEAR the subject, but it worked when I told 7 year old?

Ok, here we go.

You are walking down the street one day, minding your business, maybe drinking your morning coffee.  You stop for a moment and suddenly someone is rubbing your head and smiling at you.  Ok, that's awkward but whatever.  the person that has approached you then scratches you under the chin and giggles and walks away.

Moments later, a child goes by and gasps as they see you and shouts out "Kitty!" as they're pulled along by their parents.  You are now very confused as to what is going on, but continue about your day.  You are randomly stopped throughout the day and keep having your ears scratched and people cooing and talking to you.

Upon arriving home, you tell your partner about your ridiculously weird day, only for your partner to respond to you, "well, you're a cat, of course they'd do that."

...what??

At no time during your entire day, did you feel like a cat...yet now that you think about it, all these people were treating you as if you were a cat.  The scratching of your ears, rubbing under your chin, the cooing and giggling, the child yelling "kitty!" at you in excitement.

You look at your hands...they're hands...not paws, you run to the restroom and look into the mirror.  No no no you're not a cat!

But this continues.  More and more each day, people treating you as if you were a cat.  now they're bringing you tuna and everything else for the 'pretty kitty'.  People trying to get your attention by a quick click of their tongues instead of calling your name.

You think you're going insane.

You book a trip to the doctor and tell the doctor what is going on, the doctor tells you well yes...you are a cat.  You fall into all the characteristics of a cat; you like milk, you eat meat, you see better at night, and you are furrier than everyone else, and you enjoy hunting, therefor you are a cat.

No amount of explaining to people will change their minds of you, you fall into all the characteristics of a cat...therefor...you are a cat.

Inside, you know you are human.  How do you know you're a human?  what makes you a human?  You don't know...fuck, WHO knows?? you just know inside though, you are a human.  You aren't a cat...you are a human, you feel it...why can nobody SEE that??  You look at yourself and you know you are human, you can see yourself you are a human, and can't understand why anyone else can't see it.

But they continue on, you're a cat.  You are a cat, you are always going to be a cat, because you fit the criteria of being a cat.

With the 7 year old, it only took about 30 minutes of petting his head when we saw him, and telling him he was a good kitty, before he finally got upset and proclaimed to us, he wasn't a cat.

I used his logic on him that he used on me and told him he looked like a cat to me, and he acted like a cat, so why wasn't he a cat?

To which he thought about it and said back to me "Because I know I'm not a cat.  Inside, I know I'm not a cat."  I told him but he still looked like a cat to me, and he said "I don't know how to tell you I'm not a cat, but I know I'm not a cat, I feel human."

So I smiled and told him "I know I look like a girl, and I sound like a girl, but I'm not a girl"...I can't explain it to him or prove it to him, but I'm a boy.  Inside, I am a boy.  That I didn't know of any other way to tell him or show him, but inside, I was a boy.

He finally understood after that.

Yes, it's a ridiculously and fully flawed example, but that's what worked for a 7 year old.

From my point of view, I wake up each day and look at myself.  Despite what I physically look like with breasts and everything else...I see myself as a male.  I don't know how others can't see it.  I'm not feminine looking at all...in fact, here's some pictures of me from a few months ago.  One all instagrammed for your pleasure and another one of me being goofy:

 

To me, I see myself and say "I don't know how they can't see who I am inside"  And from the outside, people tell me "I honestly don't see you as a guy...you're too feminine looking"...then I look at myself again and say "HOW are you getting that from looking at me!?"

It becomes this meticulous game of me studying people, watching how men interact with each other, adopting their gestures and speaking patterns.  Women speak with an upward inflection at the end of their sentence (making it somewhat sound as if they are ending it in a question)  Men speak with a more downward inflection at the end of their sentences.

I did all this, I did all this to meet the criteria of what people thought men were, until I realized I was driving myself insane trying to 'prove I wasn't a cat.'

There will come a day, when it won't be an issue, but right now, I'm at the very early stages of transitioning.  One day, someone will see a picture of me and not know my past unless they really search it out...and maybe it'll change their opinion of the subject in the way.

The next part is potentially NSFW due to the men not being dressed (Don't worry, they're covered up, but still)

All of these men used to be women.  Everyone seems to know of Chaz Bono, and the like, but there are so many more of us out there, that maybe you've come across a photo once and just never knew it. 

There's Balain Buschbaum who was born Yvonne Buschbaum



Buck Angel (who is actually a porn actor)




Loren Cameron, who is an amazing photographer and I've looked through all his work




Ian Harvie (a stand up comedian)



Ryan Sallans (Public Speaker)




I'm not sharing those photos to try and make a statement, I'm sharing them because to me, they are a reminder, that at one point...they looked into the mirror and said to themselves "Why doesn't anyone else see it?  Why can they not see me inside of here?"

So many of us find each other on the internet when none of us have started our journey, or just at the beginning phases of our journey, yet we are always asked about our end goals and for us to explain exactly how we feel.  A lot of people who find transgender people on the internet are finding us at the beginning of our journey, so it is very hard to try and imagine how somebody with a body one way would change it for another.

All of us are being told we're cats, all of us are screaming 'we aren't cats!' and we can't explain it any better than saying "We just feel human, that's all"

Except you replace that with gender, and it's what I'm trying to get at.

Am I upset when somebody doesn't understand?  No, I'm not at all.  Why would I be upset with someone that can't understand it, when I barely understand it myself?  I don't have the end all answer to why I'm transgender, I don't have the magical cure either.  I just know how I feel and can try to express that.

I am not militant and I won't force anyone to say 'sir' or 'he' to me, although if I grow a beard it might be awkward calling me a 'she' is all I'm saying.

I do get a sickening gut punch, deep in the solar plexus whenever someone calls me by my birth name, or calls me a She, because I become embarrassed.  For me and for them, inside my head I go "oh god, they got it wrong."  followed shortly by "no that's right, I'm just lying to everyone and now they know."

I'm not lying, but my brain freaks out about it "well your name IS Amber, you're just lying and telling everyone it's Shane." followed by "But you ARE Shane, you were named Amber and we're going to fix that."

It starts a mental war, honestly.  I don't fault anyone for looking at me and hearing my story and saying "Okay so inside you're a guy, I get what you're saying...but you're a girl, I can't think of you as anything but a girl...sorry."

I don't fault anyone for that, because we're human beings.  I don't expect anyone to be able to fully put themselves into my shoes and try to understand, that's not my job here and it's not your job as another human being to try and sympathize with me.  Nobody is required to fully accept something if they are not comfortable with it, no matter what society thinks.

You aren't comfortable with the thought of trans people?  That's totally fine by me, I won't try to change your mind at all nor will I be upset.  Just promise to be nice to everyone, no matter what and I don't have a problem at all.

I don't understand gay men.  That doesn't make me a bad person, I just don't understand a lot of things within the entire human community, but I live by my own feelings that just because I don't understand you, doesn't mean I have to be mean.  I'm nice to everyone unless I'm given a specific reason not to be.  And people being derogatory to me is not a good enough reason, because those people can still turn around and have an epiphany later on and realize they were looking at things from a skewed angle.

I tend to ramble where this subject is concerned, and that's always why I just leave the subject alone...but I think I'll leave this one up :)

Out of this entire thing, the one thing I'd say focus on is this:  There are nearly 7 billion people on this Earth at this moment, and they are all living as complex and intricate lives as your own.

To me, that's all I need to remember.  The moment I feel alone or that people are suffocating me, I remember that...there are 7 billion other people on this planet living lives as complex and intricate as mine.  In the scheme of things, that makes my struggle beyond miniscule and keeps me going.
I'm living my life to please myself :)

And maybe please your mother.  OOOOOOOOOhhhhh

God I'm sorry I couldn't do it, I made it to the very end and I COULDN'T KEEP SERIOUS!!