We Shan't speak of it again...

 I find it odd the things that happen to you during a day, that are traumatic and yet your glorious brain suddenly pushes it to the back of your skull to be forgotten, and then you read something and it pulls it back out.

I'm referring to Rusted Armour's entry. (He peed on his redbull).  And I almost didn't even say anything to him, because I mean why would you put an entry out there like that?  Right??  RIGHT??
Here's mine!

I wear gauges in my ear.  No, I'm not working my way towards a dinner plate set.  I'm not a man who's itching to have all the pieces of a dinnerware set at my disposal in my earlobes, "Ah, friend!  You need a tea saucer! *woop!* here ya go!  had one in my ear lobe!  Nah nah!  Just wash it and give it back when you can!!"

I have size 2 gauges in my ear, and for those who don't care about gauge sizes, it's about the size of my pinky finger.  I adore horseshoe barbell earrings, as they had a little metal ball on each end that screws on and prevents them from falling out of your ear.  But alas, after about 8 gauge (fairly small) they stop carrying them in stores, and you're forced into curved claw earrings or simply plugs.  Hm...lemme get you some references here.



 Circular barbell


 Claw earring (although these are fake gauges, but the shape applies)

Plugs.

Now, see those little rubber O-rings on the plugs?  I found out (in a not so pleasant way) that I'm allergic to rubber.  Not so pleasant, as in, I woke up one morning and my ears and face were covered in goo and ooze from my earlobes going nuts and pumping infection everywhere...and the ITCHING!!!

Also, the claw earrings have these rubber rings as well.  I can't find anything else in my size so I'm forced into these (I do know I can order them online but I'm so damn lazy).  They stay in my ears with fair ease without the rings so I just don't wear them.  Usually my claw earrings will snap first (I'm a rough mistress to them) and I move over to the plugs.

Mine are silver metallic solid plugs.

Some days I wake up and one has fallen out during the night in my sleep, and I'll pick it from the pillow and put it back in.   Some days I get to work, and someone will remark about how weird it is to see through my earlobe, and I'll realize the plug fell out and I didn't realize it.  Some days, I'll sit up in bed and one will be hanging on by a thread and then fall out into my lap.

And then some days are yesterday, of which the likes had never happened before, and I hope never happen again.

I awoke, and drug myself to the bathroom...bladder SCREAMING at me that I should have taken care of this when I woke up 4 hours ago (But I laid in bed and went "eh...I can wait" and went back to sleep).  I enter the bathroom, start my morning (read: very very long, very extensive, very powerful, we aren't stopping this) pee, and I feel *thump* on my shoulder as I slightly turned my head and then watched and listened in horror as my ear plug went *plink* on the toilet seat and then *SPLOOSH* into the toilet.
And I couldn't stop peeing.  And there I was, staring betwixt stream of pee and rapidly deteriorating water quality to my plug fast sinking to the bottom of the bowl...and all I could do was let out a "uuuuunnnnggghhhh...NNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" and start crying.

(I'm never in the most stable of moods when I first wake up)

After finishing my business, I stood and stared into the bowl for a good few minutes.  I don't have enough money to buy a new plug right now, and my ear would definitely close up before I could replace it.  I could put in an older, smaller gauge, but then my ears would be uneven.  Also, if I flush the plug, would it get caught up somewhere and later come back to haunt me as a sewer nightmare??

I pawed at it with my toilet bowl brush...no dice...it was too heavy.  I suddenly remembered Julie left latex gloves here for cleaning, and I took off and grabbed a pair.  A PAIR!!  Was I about to go two hands deep into this toilet bowl?  Was I about to give this toilet a grabbing, the likes of which it's never seen before??
NO!  Fuck sake, keep up here, I put both gloves on one hand, need extra protection...putting my hand into a pee swamp here, ugh.

And I plunged into the vast depths of the swamp of sorrow and fished my ear plug out, promptly hurled it into the sink, and ripped the gloves off and into the trash can.

I then scrubbed the ear plug, with soap, then soaked it in alcohol, and then boiled it in a pan for about 10 minutes.

I still felt dirty all day.

AND IT WAS LIKE EVERYONE SUBLIMINALLY KNEW!  One woman randomly said "oh, are your earrings magnets?"  I said "oh haha no, they're metal plugs"  She said "oh they look like magnets!!" and TOUCHED THE PEE ONE!!

And my brain is screaming "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!"  All day, people kept touching my pee earring and commenting on my earrings...*cough* I wanted to die *wheeze* *panic*

So I did what any self respecting person would do.

I mean in this sense that I can't know which one is the pee earring, it's doing my anxiety in.  I came home and took both plugs out, put them in my hands and shook them around like dice without looking, and then just put them back in my ears.

EEE...I'm so confused now!

We shan't ever speak of it again...